"Three tests, a quiz, two projects, and an essay due, after school sports, my BFF is acting strange, my parents need me at this dinner function tonight till at least 9pm and I'm fuiling all this with Coke and bubble tea. I'm 14 years old and I guess this is preparation for a successful future. Umm, maybe after this childhood experience my generation will be the one's to redefine 'success.'"

Although many changes can be made to reduce stress and live a more manageable life. One stressor that is fairly unavoidable in school (unless you drop-out, but don't do that) is test taking. Test's of one kind or another are inevitable, especially if you want to get by in the modern world.

Test anxiety (stress due to test taking) is more common than you may think. One large scale study reveals that as many as 61% of high school students suffer some form of test anxiety on occasion and as many as 26% suffer test anxiety "almost always" (Bradley et al., 2010). The silver lining on this dark cloud is that it reveals that you're not alone! Right now, all over the world there are other teens and tweens preparing for and taking tests and many of them are experiencing some anxiety too. Because of all this unhealthy test-stress on your generation, professionals in various fields of study, have worked hard on figuring out the best ways to deal with the anxiety that comes from this unavoidable stressor - test taking.

Now, keep in mind that a manageable level of anxiety before a test can be a good thing. It can keep you sharp, at your best, alert, and ready to show the teacher that you could have written the test yourself! :) On the other hand, an unmanageable level of anxiety can have all the opposite effects. It can make you sweat, shake, and have dry mouth, blank-out, on edge, sleepy, and ready to quit. What we want to know is how to deal with that unmanageable level of anxiety so that we can appreciate that manageable level and do our best on any test. Here's what the experts say:

Our mind, brain, body, and emotions all work very closely together. In fact, the one can cause changes in the other and vice-versa (Bradley et al., 2010). For example, stressful thoughts about a negative future outcome can increase the heart rate. The increased heart rate can inturn cause higher blood pressure, a release of a chemical called adrenaline and the sweaty palms, shakes, and dry mouth begin. On the other hand, an increased heart rate (especially if it's erratic) can communicate to the brain that something is wrong. The brain sends signals to your body and your mind produces emotions associated with anxiety, depression, etc. In one case the mind (the negative thoughts) started the process and in the other case the heart started the process. In both cases the end result was unwanted anxiety.

What do we do then to control and eradicate the unwanted anxiety? The answer is we take good care of and monitor the mind/brain, body, and emotions. If our emotions are not what we want (i.e. unwanted anxiety) we need to take a look at our body and mind/brain connection. If we take care of the mind/brain and body they will take care of us by producing just the right levels of the emotions we need for any given situation (this is may not be the case if you have a disorder). This is how God engineered us and it is brilliant!

Dealing with the heart. Tackling test anxiety does not begin a few minutes or even hours before the test. Dealing with test anxiety is a daily decision that you make. It's present in all the decisions that you make concerning your heart; food choice, drink choice, exercise, and breathing habits all play key roles in test anxiety. A very unpopular, but extremely relevant, example would be drink choice. Many teens today are choosing to consume caffeine. Caffeine, however, is a stimulant, like the drug cocaine (although a much lower potency than cocaine), and increases the heart rate (in some this increase is more significant than in others). If a student is already prone to unwanted test anxiety and consumes a Coke or a bubble tea before a test, the increased heart rate that will result from the stimulant is busy sending messages to the brain and the brain is releasing chemicals that will increase anxiety. In each category, food choice, drink choice, exercise, and breathing habits, examples can be given but suffice it to say that how we treat our heart makes a big difference in how our body and mind/brain treat us.  

Dealing with the mind/brain. What we tell ourselves, the perceptions we have about life experiences, and the messages from others (especially the media) that we allow to influence us all play a part in test anxiety. For example, if your identity (your perception of your self-worth) is dependent on always getting an "A" then, of course, you're much more likely to have self-defeating thoughts that lead to unwanted test anxiety. Just like in dealing with the heart, this means that tackling test anxiety does not begin minutes before the test or even hours before but begins with the daily decisions that you make concerning your self-talk, and what you allow to influence you.

What you can do hours and moments before a test. First of all, consider making wiser food and drink choices; make it a life change challenge if you need to and try it for just 1 week. I guarantee you, if you will cut-out all caffeine and refined white sugar consumption you will feel so much better in every way (after withdrawal symptoms subside of course). In addition, increase your vegetable and fruit intake to at least 3 servings of each per day. And find some way to exercise. Exercise is a major stress reliever and releases the "feel-good" chemicals that you need to have a positive outlook on life.

In addition:

30 min. before a test, monitor your breathing and make sure that you are taking slow, deep, and steady breaths. Actually envision your heart slowing down (which it will do because of the deep breathing). While monitoring your breathing, take a brisk walk, do some jumping jacks, push-ups, etc.

While continuing to monitor your breathing and keeping your body moving, monitor your thoughts and "discipline" your perceptions. Tell yourself (ask God to speak to you about this matter) that "success is not found in grades, popularity, being #1, etc. but it is found in being content with how God has made me." Remind yourself that you have done what is expected of you as a developing student and that the test is simply an opportunity to finish a unit, subject, etc. and move on to other learning. Discipline your perceptions by aligning them with truth, not error. For example, if your perception of yourself is distorted because of some mean things that were said of you because of a poor grade that you once got, tell your perception that it is time to change. Change that perception with a statement of truth: "Everyone gets a poor grade here and there and it does not negatively affect their future or who they are as a child of God. I will get a poor grade here and there too and it will not negatively affect my future or who I am as a child of God." If you find yourself having self-defeating thoughts like, "This teacher is out to get me." or "I'm probably going to fail this test." dispute these thoughts. The way you engage in disputation with your negative thoughts is to play detective and look for evidence that these self-defeating thoughts are true. For example, if you have the thought, "I'm probably going to fail the test." ask yourself, "What's the evidence? Have I failed a test in this class before? Do I really not know anything that will be on the test? Is it true that this teacher's tests are so hard that even someone who has studied is likely to fail?" Usually, you will quickly see that there is no evidence for your self-defeating thought and you can safely disregard it with a smile.

As you can see, combating test anxiety and the anxiety that comes from your busy schedules is something that you can do for yourself by making the right choices every single day. This does not mean that there are not special situations where these suggestions will make little to no difference, like someone dealing with a severe anxiety disorder, but for most, these suggestions are worth a try. After all, the worst that can happen is a healthier mind and body.






Bradley, R. T., Mccraty, R., Atkinson, M., Tomasino, D., Daugherty, A., & Arguelles, L. (2010). Emotion self-regulation,      
           psychophysiological coherence, and test anxiety: Results from an experiment using electrophysiological    
           measures. Applied Psychophysiology and Biofeedback,35(4), 261-83. doi:http://dx.doi.org/10.1007/s10484-010-
           9134-x

Not a school year goes by where I don't get asked by a student or two to share my perspective on dating relationships. This year is no different, and in light of the fact that we have more visible dating relationships than in the past I thought I would post on the topic.

The Bible gives us no explicit information regarding dating relationships. This makes perfect historical sense since there was NO dating in the biblical era; thus, it was not an issue that needed to be addressed. In fact, the type of casual dating relationships that are all too common among youth today have really only existed for about 75 years. Even in my grandfather's adolescent years it was not common to "go steady" with a girl before college age (18-20).

Although the Bible does not speak explicitly concerning dating relationships, there are plenty of implicit principles that can be applied to the subject. First and foremost, the principle of love. No one, and I mean NO ONE is really ready for a serious relationship until they understand what love really is. Love is NOT a feeling. If it were, that would be scary because feelings change constantly. Love is a choice. For example, I choose to love my wife. And this CHOICE has been expressed by my commitment to a marriage relationship with her. This choice is made knowing full well that my feelings can change on a whim. If she does something to really upset me, I am not going to have very nice feelings towards her for a while, right? But that should not in any way affect my love for her! Unfortunately, many young people get into dating relationships long before they really understand true love. They conclude, often based on a Disney type definition of love, that love is a feeling. Understandably then, when their girlfriend or boyfriend does something that changes their feelings towards them, they conclude that they have "fallen out of love." The relationship comes to an end and usually someone is left hurt and confused (this is where all kinds of sappy love songs come to mind).

Another biblical principle that is key to understanding dating relationships is commitment. The Bible is full of examples of the consequences of strong and weak commitments. In the Old Testament you can read about the life of Joseph and the extremely strong commitment he had to God. So strong in fact, that when the wife (I imagine she was quite a gorgeous woman) of his master, Potiphar, wanted to sleep with him, he refused and went running! You can also read about the weak commitment that the disciples had to Jesus. When Jesus got arrested and the disciples faced persecution, they went running. But unlike Joseph's running, the disciples ran away from commitment to God, not because of their commitment to God. Of course we know that the story ends in the restoration of the disciples and the recommitment that they pledged to the risen Jesus. This renewed commitment was so strong that they went to their early graves for the cause of Christ. What does this have to do with middle and high school dating relationships? EVERYTHING! Commitment must be present or you are playing around with each other's lives and that is about as immature and irresponsible as it gets. And quite frankly, until you are ready to put a ring on a finger and propose marriage (or accept the proposal), you are NOT ready for commitment. I mean let's get real, if you are under the age of 20, you likely have no job (or not one that rakes in much cash), no house (of your own), no vehicle (that you bought), no health insurance, no fridge with food (that belongs to you), and most likely you don't even own a stitch of clothes that was not purchased by mom or dad (or your grandma if you are thinking about that ugly shirt you'll never wear). In other words, you ain't ready! And that's okay. It is a much more mature decision to wait until you are really ready to date than to think you are ready just because you are able to work-up some tingly feelings for someone of the opposite gender. Try this one out boys: the next time you are trying to rouse the courage to ask some little girl to be your girlfriend, ask yourself who bought the BVDs you're wearing. If the answer is mommy or daddy (or house helper/guardian), you are NOT ready to provide for that girl, so, DO NOT MESS WITH HER!

Real love and real commitment. These are the two ingredients that are necessary to make a real relationship.

"Well, what can I do about my feelings in the meantime?" I get it. I really do. It is totally natural to be attracted to the opposite gender. You're not weird, strange, gross, etc. You're normal. But just because there is an attraction, does NOT mean that you should act on it. Think about it. If you can't learn to control yourself and keep yourself from advancing towards every attraction, how will you stay faithful to your future spouse? After all, your spouse won't be the last person you're attracted to. So, this season of life (middle and high school) is your proving ground, your training center. This is the season for you to learn how to manage your attractions. If you are SUPER attracted to a certain person, then simply get to know them as a friend - nothing more. Acknowledge the fact that you do not need to express any "feelings" to this person or make some sloppy attempt at a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship. Instead, recognize that the attraction is likely fleeting and much trouble can be saved by maturing-up a bit and keeping it at the level it belongs - friendship.

Here at Logos we (teachers/admin.) strive to foster an environment that is God glorifying and safe for everyone. These are TOP priorities. This issue is directly related to both of these priorities. A bunch of adolescents running around "breaking hearts" and playing around with people's lives is not God glorifying and does not contribute to an environment where all feel safe. I hope you can be a part of the solution by making a commitment to guard the hearts and lives of each other by WAITING until you are ready for real love and real commitment.

It might come as a surprise to you but bullying is not simply the act of big kids who take the little kids lunch money. In fact, bullying can be defined as any behavior that belittles or is aggressive towards another person. Bullying may be verbal, like derogatory comments, calling names, or telling lies about somebody, or physical, like kicking, hitting, shoving. Other forms of bullying include social exclusion, cyber bullying, racial slurs, stealing, and any other type of threatening behavior.

Although some people may consider bullying to be just “normal kid stuff,” it can severely damage the emotional health of the victim. In addition, the bully him/herself is often the victim of bullying from someone else – it is usually a vicious cycle.

While we do not seem to have a major problem at Logos with physical bullying, it has come to my attention (and has been on the radar of some teachers for quite some time now) that we do have an excess of what may be considered the more subtle forms of bullying. Things like social exclusion, gossiping, belittling comments, etc. Of course, you may ask, “What do you consider excessive?” The answer is: ANY BULLYING AT ALL IS TOO MUCH! We are a school that seeks to glorify God, and God has set the bar high. He has revealed to us that we are to love each other in the same way that He has loved us (John 15:12). I do understand that not all students at Logos are followers of Jesus. However, regardless of your Christian or non-Christian status, the standard set for us by Jesus is the standard that we want to strive for here at Logos. It is the culture that we want to breed and will go out of our way to protect.

Although there is a fine line between real bullying and some behaviors, like bantering, joking, and innocent wrestling around, we are responsible to make sure we do NOT cross the line. And what if we do cross the line? Well, we make amends and face the consequences. What we do not want to do is return the bullying (in whatever form it takes: calling names, put-downs, ignoring, exclusion from a groups, etc) and perpetuate the problem. Yes, we realize that doing the right thing is not easy, but you are Logos students. We not only hold you to a higher academic standard than many other schools but we hold you to a higher moral and interpersonal standard than other schools may expect. We do this because right relationships please the Lord (John 15:13; Heb. 10:24-25) and our number one goal, as Logos teachers and administrators, is to please the Lord. In pleasing the Lord through cultivating a school environment that is bully-free and safe, we all benefit.

So, how can you be a part of creating and maintaining a bully-free, safe school environment? First and foremost, you can make sure you are not currently involved in a situation that may be construed as bullying. For example, if you know that you and a friend have been purposely leaving out somebody from your conversations, lunch gatherings, or after school outings, it is time to STOP. Put yourself in their place, connect, even for just a moment, with the pain they must feel in being excluded. Use that empathy to motivate you to make amends. Secondly, make sure that you do not participate in any future bullying, and be willing to stand up for someone who may be bullied. Thirdly, get proactive. That just means don't wait for a bullying situation to happen before you step in and help. Instead, do things to ensure that people do not get bullied. If you are a junior who sees a seventh grader sitting in a corner alone, approach them and ask them how their day is going. You may discover that they are just fine and happily reading a good book, but you may also discover that you just stepped into a very dark moment and now have the opportunity to bring a bit of light and perspective to a hurting soul.

Bottom line: Let's work together to create a bully-free, safe school environment that ultimately brings glory and praise to God and in the process creates a place where you, me, and every soul that encounters Logos knows that they are loved, respected, and valued.

My door is open to you if you want to keep this conversation going in person. Otherwise, post a comment or two and let me know what you think. I am excited for the solutions that you brilliant students may come up with.           

Why Concerned Corner?

In today's increasingly, fast paced, technologically advanced, and  complex environment, it is becoming more and more difficult to find time and space to deal with those challenges that affect us all. Here at Logos's Concerned Corner, there is a concerned counselor on the other side of the computer who cares about you and the issues you face here at Logos, home, and in your other social environments.

On this blog, you can comment anonymously or identify yourself if that suits you (to leave an anonymous comment, simply choose that option under the identity options). You can address the issue posted or completely change the topic. You can add to the conversation between me and another contributor or you can discuss your own challenges. If you prefer, this medium can simply be used as the beginning of a conversation between me and you that converts into a more meaningful face to face dialogue. Either way, my hope is that this blog will offer some time and space for those who need to be heard, who need some encouragement, or maybe a bit of guidance.

Ground rules: This blog will be light heated at times (consider cartoon at top) but is intended to be a serious blog. Real life, serious issues will be addressed and all contributors are asked to respect each other and show a high level of maturity. Absolutely NO bullying will be tolerated! If a contributor violates the respect of another, I'll simply delete the comments/postings.

Note: With online mediums there is no 100% guarantee of anonymity or confidentiality. Although I will ensure the highest level of protection and confidentiality possible, this is a blog and any electronic source leaves trails. This simply means that if you need something to be absolutely !00% confidential and/or anonymous, do not post about it on this blog.